As you are probably well aware, I found out some weeks ago that I am a Hipster. Because I am a Hipster, the Guardians took Me too a specialty Bad Place for an examination. For several weeks after that, they were moving My leg around on a regular basis and trying to get Me to play more. I tried, I really did, but it hurt. Well, yesterday the Guardians left for a while in the morning, and when they returned they smelled like they had been to that specialty Bad Place again. I’m not sure why they went, but they seemed especially focused on Me when they returned, and I heard the word “surgery” mentioned a few times. This made Me nervous and I began to self-soothe.
Now, every kitty in My house has had surgery once already. I’m not saying that I don’t think that surgery was necessary or anything, In fact, it is My sixth Commandment. But why would I need to be surgerized again? The thought of being neutered a second time made Me let out a mournful yowl before I even knew I was doing it.
After releasing that pent-up tension, I settled down a bit. I laid down on the couch, well aware of the ever-present throbbing sensation in My hip.
As I lay there on the couch, an idea came into My mind. Perhaps the surgery of which they speak is not a second neuter. What if they can surgerize Me to remove the pain from My hip? Perhaps such a procedure exists! If it does, I bet it’s called a “Hipsterectomy”!
Yes! I bet that’s what they are planning, a Hipsterectomy. I can’t say that I’m not still nervous about the idea, but I’m sure the Guardians have done the appropriate research to insure that a Hipsterectomy is right for Me. I really, really hope it helps to get rid of this constant ache in My hip. Even moreso, I hope the Hipsterectomy eliminates My recent obsession with trying to find a kitty-sized pair of skinny jeans!
So Sayeth Otis