Oh my gosh! The dog poop may finally be hitting the fan! Early this morning I entered the living room to find Brother Henry sitting on the cat tree in the window. Suddenly he turned his head to look at Me, and I immediately saw the alarm in his eyes.
Brother Henry said, “Leader Otis! I just saw a dog and his human poop picker-upper walking by outside! The dog had some sort of cone-shaped plastic thingy attached to his neck! It must be some new, super-secret surveillance device developed for the long-feared Dog Uprising! We are going to Defcat 2! I repeat, Defcat 2! Get yourself downstairs to the safey-safe. Brother Oliver and I will handle this!”
I immediately complied with Brother Henry’s commands and got Myself downstairs to the safey-safe.
Once I was in position in the safey-safe, Brother Henry instituted Defensive Plan Alpha. DPA had recently been modified to include Thomas since, from his elevated window in Kitty Valhalla, he is able to surveil the entire backyard and the alleyway behind the house. Unfortunately, Brother Henry has not had time to properly train Thomas, or even to tell him that he is now an integral part of Defensive Plan Alpha. So when Brother H shouted up the stairs, “Agent T! Institute Defensive Plan Alpha!” Thomas replied, “Defensapan Alpo? What’s that?” Brother Henry then said, “Just look out your window and start yowling your head off if you see any dogs!” Thomas then replied, “You guys are really weird…” But he did as Brother Henry had asked and took up position at the window.
Once Thomas was in place, Brothers Henry and Oliver took up position on the cat tree in the front window. Combined, they add up to 33.5 pounds of tabby fury. Brother Henry hoped that this highly visible show of strength would make any would-be canine attackers think twice about invading My Indoor Domain.
As of now, I have heard no signs that the Uprising has begun, so perhaps Brother Henry’s show of strength is working. However, I am staying in the safey-safe until Brother H sounds the “all clear” and brings us back down to Defcat 5. Well, I am staying here until that happens or until I hear the Guardians putting our afternoon snacks in our bowl. No threat is big enough to keep Me from My snacks.
So Sayeth Otis