Guardian Outpost

My Disciples,

Yesterday, I walked into the office and saw something I hadn’t seen in a very long time. One of the Guardians was sitting at the computer, and Brother Henry was strapped to her body with some kind of sling.

Henry sitting in sling

This is what I saw when I walked into the office.

Now, as I said, this was something I hadn’t seen for a very long time. Brother Henry used to sit in a sling all the time when the Guardian was painting, but she gave up painting quite a while ago. At around the same time, Brother Henry first got word of the possibility that the long-feared Dog Uprising was in the works, so he devoted the time he had been spending in the sling to patrolling our house and watching out the windows for any suspicious canine activity. When I saw him in the sling yesterday, I thought that maybe the canine threat had diminished or something. Brother Henry informed Me otherwise.

Henry confident in sling

I thought that Brother Henry’s being in the sling meant that the threat of the long-feared Dog Uprising had diminished. I was wrong.

Brother Henry told Me that the sling was part of a new strategy he was instituting to increase our readiness. Although the Guardian didn’t know it, Brother Henry was using her as a mobile command post and lookout tower. From his elevated perch in the sling he had an excellent view of the surrounding landscape and could quickly identify any possible threats.

Henry vigilant in sling

Brother Henry said that from his elevated position in the sling, he could keep a lookout for any possible threats.

Brother Henry went on to say that he was training the Guardian to go where he wanted by pointing his paw and meowing. So far it hadn’t worked, but he was confident that once the communication barrier was dealt with, his mobile command post would be our most important asset in our stand against the LFDU.

Henry directing from sling

Brother Henry was attempting to train the Guardian to follow his commands. So far, he was having no luck.

And finally, Brother Henry pointed out that if the long-feared Dog Uprising did come to pass, there would be no safer place than being strapped directly to one of the Guardians. He said he was actually trying to figure out a way to fit Brother Oliver, Thomas and Me into the sling as well so we would all be protected if the worst came to pass.

Henry lovable in sling

Brother Henry pointed out that the safest place to be if the Uprising comes to pass is strapped to a Guardian.

I must admit that Brother Henry has a pretty bold plan for our mutual defense, but I have My doubts that his “Guardian Outpost” project will be successful. This is not because I think the Guardians can’t be trained to move on command or anything. No, it’s because I don’t think the Guardian’s backs can handle lugging around so many pounds of tabby fury for any length of time. Brother Henry alone weighs in at 17 pounds. Add in the rest of us and you have a whole lot of cat. I think Henry should modify his approach and try to find a way to get the Guardians to push us around in a wheelbarrow. Then this crazy idea of his just might have a chance of working!

So Sayeth Otis

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Filed under Daily Life

88 responses to “Guardian Outpost

  1. 2 cats

    wow looks like a lovely cuddley outpost – but if i tried this with either of my cats they would not be impressed!!

  2. Jenn

    I love this daily blog so much!! Brother Henry you are the cutest!

  3. Now that is obviously a cats excuse for just plain being one lazy spoiled cat! MOL!

  4. Please Brother Otis, tell us that Brother Henry will soon be marketing this “Command Post Sling” for other kitties to use in home protection! You boys are so smart.

  5. Did the Guardians train Brother Henry to love the sling? Or has he always been a snuggle bug? Is the sling homemade? I’m so intrigued…

    • I think Brother Henry Trained the Guardians to love the sling, Christine. I remember it starting with Brother H always wanting to be inside the Guardian’s sweatshirt. Then, some friend’s of the Guardians had a baby and after the baby outgrew his baby sling, the parents gave the sling to the Guardians. Brother H fit in it perfectly.

  6. ” mobile command post and lookout tower” Oh, outstanding idea. RC will be so jealous.
    She’s already swatting mad that a cat across the way has a 4 wheeled mobile sidewalk unit with 4 walls, roof, and screened windows to allow breeze sniffs. We have been informed that those are the good guardians who are trained to wheel their cat around to view outdoor domains.

  7. I’ve been needing one of those for YEARS with my long hair Amber. In the winter she will hound me wherever I go until I lay down with a blanket so she can keep warm LOL.

  8. Dude, forget the sling and the wheel barrow! You need something you can move when you want it to move as well as defend! You need a tank! A four cat tank! yeah, with some big anti-canine shells! Whoo! Then those doggies will be too afraid to think of any ol’ uprising!
    Of course then you’d have to think of a new use for the tank.. Maybe going after those people who neglect their kitties?

  9. Oh my gosh. If my Oliver sees that I will have to double my chiropractor appointments. Not that having 14 pounds of purring grey snugglebunny strapped to my front could ever be considered a bad thing.

  10. AWWWWWwww, that is SO adorabl……er, I mean fearsome…yeah…fearsome. I’m….afraid….

  11. “I can’t prowl and train humans and look out for the dog at the same time!”
    “Well they got them backpacks now. . .”
    Puss in Boots. Couldn’t resist. They make strollers for cats now too, but of course mine just want to prowl around on their own. Cute kitty by the way!

  12. Emma Chadwick

    Hahahaaha! This is great!

  13. Couldn’t help but giggle as I read through this post — those big ol’ Toms are the best (and most snuggly) cats, even while plotting against the anticipated Dog Uprising! I am thinking a sling may solve the winter “drape across the laptop to stay warm” syndrome . . . ~ Kat

  14. OMG this is hilarious! 😀

  15. I wish my feline son would stay in a sling like this!

  16. oh now that is such a cute and wonderful cat story

  17. haha this blog is fantastic! Thanks for sharing and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  18. Mr. Chitters mustn’t read this post, oh dear! Luckily his approach (so far) to the LFDU has been to take an active role in training all dogs that come to visit. (I’m already pretty well trained…)
    Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  19. This is definitely the best thing I have ever read in my life. Wonderful blog, and sister Nymeria has pledged herself to fight if and when the uprising starts!

  20. Oh thank goodness you were freshly pressed. This is perfect.

  21. Is Brother Henry equipped for nighttime surveillance? Maybe he should have night-vision goggles — you can’t be too careful. With these goggles, he would be a purr-fect defense force by day or by night. 😉

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. Great story.

  22. I wonder if I shouldn’t try this. My cat can ping a lap forming on a weekend from a mile off, and this would be a sort of permanent lap that would allow me to do things like get up and get coffee or pee while still letting her crotchety old bones sleep.

    Jeez, I am so kittywhipped.

  23. sqeekchair

    Brother Henry- It would be my honour to cat-sit for you while your guardians are away on vacation. Not to worry- I’m harmless and have plenty of references.

  24. sqeekchair

    P.S. Brother Henry- I would take you to run errands with me if places did not discriminate against cats in baby sacks… They need to be educated by your high degree of culture and taste, Brother Henry!

    • Brother Henry tends to think he is being taken to The Bad Place whenever the Guardians take him outside the house. Usually, he is right. He would probably not do well on errands. 🙂

  25. Mei

    Lol this is so cute! 🙂

  26. NIce chat about the cat. The pictures are good too. Cats are truly amazing at times.

  27. Wow, I wish my boys would like to snuggle that way but I don’t think they would be into it. They are not very keen on being picked up so I just let them come to me when they want a cuddle on my lap or in bed 🙂

  28. Just noticed how Brother Henry really looks like a Kilban’s Cat in that fourth photo.

  29. This is the first time I’ve read this blog – love it. LOL at the LFDU – I do like Brother Henry’s idea of his command post though *grin*

  30. i’m not sugglejestulating that you check over at Betunadazz impasse, but, heck, you may note (mite tay kuh phew clix) we’re at an impasse betwixt the canines and the feeelyings. and throw the tortoise into the mix. do we have detente?

  31. I have never seen something like that, I wish(ed) my cat, my Princess to be like that… Brother Henry is so lovely and so adorable cat. Blessing and Happiness. Thank you and also congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. With my love, nia

  32. woof woof bark bark…. uh…i mean hello i am a new guy and i really like your post.ignore the woofs and barks because i am not a dog pretending to be a blogger to findout about your secrets heheheheh

  33. Reblogged this on In My Dreams and commented:
    And so here it comes. A cat x dog war. The cats have found a way to have a lookout on most of the places in the world. The human outpost is a great strategy but the “guardian” or human isn’t trainable by the cats ( brother Henry ). They should find a new approach to solve this problem

  34. Hilarious!! I love that you are “The Guardians” =D Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!

  35. Brother Henry reminds me of Winston Churchill in that 2nd-last photo. The look of a leader. Pretty sure the Dogs will be trounced in the end and endure 40 years of occupation or something like that.

  36. I’m sure Brother Henry would disagree, but he is a real “fur person”!

  37. Just wanted to say Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed ! Now even more people will come to know the exploits of Otis and the Guys.

  38. yay Congratulations!!! As a guardian and a faithful follower I’m so happy and proud of you!
    Brother Henry is so cute in these pictures, looks like a baby human 😀
    Have a great Sunday

  39. Pingback: GO Readiness Drill Part I: All Systems Go | The Blog of Otis

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