Still feeling the sting of disappointment from My failed Presidential run, today I decided to refocus My attention on mentoring Thomas as he continues to evolve from a scaredy cat into a well-adjusted house cat. As I walked down the hallway toward the door that leads to Thomas’s temporary domain, I heard a <thump> like someone had just jumped onto or into something. As i got closer I could see two ears, with the easily-recognizable Thomas fuzz, sticking up out of the Potty Pod 3000 at the bottom of the stairs.
I said, “Thomas? Are you in the Potty Pod?” After a moment of silence he replied, “Yes.” I said, “Are you going potty in the pod?” Another moment of silence and then, “No.” I said, “What are you doing in there then?”, and he said, “Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but ever since You attacked my tail I always try to keep it away from You when You are around. When I saw You coming down the hallway just now, I sort of panicked because I felt exposed down here at the bottom of the steps. All I could think of doing in the moment was to jump into the Potty Pod where You couldn’t get My tail.”
I was both embarrassed and guilt-ridden after hearing what Thomas said. I asked him to come out and speak with Me, and he reluctantly did so.
Once we were face to face, I apologized profusely to Thomas, and I told him I have been working on controlling Myself around fluffy tails. I also told him about the wonderful therapy device that the Guardians had given Me. I reassured him that it was working, and that My urges have greatly subsided. I could see that he still doubted what I was saying, so I asked if there was something I could do to help regain his trust. To My surprise he said, “Well, immmm… yes. You could let me play with your tail so then we are even.” I thought that this was an odd request, and I wasn’t sure exactly how it would make Thomas feel better, but I reluctantly agreed to his demand. I turned around so he could reach My tail through the door.
So Thomas began batting at My tail with his paws. He even tried to pull it through the fence at one point and either nuzzle or bite it. Every once in a while his claw would catch My skin and it really stung. After a few minutes I started to get annoyed.
When I could stand it no more, I turned and said, “OK Thomas. That’s enough.” to which he replied, “Yeah, it’s kind of annoying isn’t it?” I said, “Yes, it is very annoying.”, and he said, “Well, now that You know what it feels like, are You going to attack my tail again?” I was taken aback at first, and then I felt humbled. I said, “No Thomas. I’m not going to attack your tail again.” He said, “Good! Then I can trust You again!” He then turned and pranced up the stairs to Valhalla.
Although the Guardians’ therapy device has greatly diminished My desire to attack fluffy kitty tails, I know that there is still a danger that someday My willpower will fail Me. If I feel that happening, I will remember this lesson that Thomas taught Me, and I will get Myself under control. And I thought I was going to be the one doing the mentoring!
So Sayeth Otis