Brother Oliver was faking his amnesia! I discovered this yesterday when one of the Guardians shook the container of freeze-dried chicken bits and shouted out the familiar “Who wants chicken!?” call. The call was coming from the kitchen, and when I ran in there Brother Oliver was already there waiting for his treat. I said, “Brother Oliver! I thought you had amnesia! How did you know what ‘who wants chicken’ meant?” He looked at Me sheepishly and said, “Oh, ummm, I didn’t. I just heard the Guardian calling and I ran in here to see what was up.” I then said, “And how do you know that this human is one of the Guardians when you didn’t even recognize Me as The Leader?” He looked at Me with a stumped expression on his face.
In that moment I remembered a time in My younger years when the Guardians had been watching a news report on TV. The person who was speaking seemed to be an important figure, but I’m not sure who it was because I missed the first part of the show. Anyway, whoever that person was, he said something very profound that I thought was relevant to the current situation. I tried to repeat what that man had said to Brother Oliver. I said, “Brother Oliver, fool me once shame on… shame on you. Fool me… you can’t get fooled again.” I regretted the words as soon as they had left My mouth.
Brother Oliver stared at Me for a moment with a look of both confusion and awe. Then he burst out laughing harder than I have ever seen him laugh. Through his guffaws he said, “All right Leader Otis, you got me. I was totally faking the amnesia, but now I think you might have been hit on the head too hard or something. I mean, who talks like that? I’m very sorry, but with all due respect, that is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard anyone say.”
The worst thing about the situation was that Brother Oliver was right. I knew the words were completely idiotic even as I heard Myself say them. I had only said them because, in some recess of My mind, it seemed like they had been said by an important person. But I must have been mistaken. Perhaps the part of the news report that I missed had explained that the story was about the decline of intelligence in America or something. But it was too late to worry about that. I had said what I had said, and Brother Oliver was still in the process of having a good laugh at My expense.
So I did the only remaining thing that I could do. I snapped up both My chicken treat and the one that had been put down for Brother Oliver, and I ran out of the room. As I exited, I heard Brother Oliver’s laughter suddenly cease. I then heard him say, in a very humble voice, “I can’t believe he fooled me…”
So Sayeth Otis