I walked into the living room this morning to find Brother Oliver laying on the floor in a semi-catatonic state. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “Leader Otis! I…I can’t believe what I just heard the Guardians say! I think Thomas was infected with dog!”
I was shocked by Brother Oliver’s statement. Why would he think that Thomas had a dog infection? I asked him to tell me everything he had heard. Brother Oliver said, “I walked into the room earlier and the Guardians were saying that it was time for them to go up to Valhalla to check on Thomas. One of them said, ‘Don’t forget his pain meds. His infection is gone, but he’s still pretty sore from having his canine extracted.’ I couldn’t believe it! Thomas had been infected with canine and they had to extract it? No wonder he was at The Bad Place for so long. They had to get that dog out of him so he wouldn’t be a threat to us when he got home!”
Now My mind was reeling. Thomas!? Infected with dog!? Was this another conspiracy perpetrated by those devious hounds that are planning the long-feared dog uprising? Were they now infecting cats with dog in an attempt to infiltrate My inner circle!? It didn’t seem possible, but all of the evidence was pointing that way.
Now, more than ever, I feel it is very important that I get into Valhalla to see Thomas. I must find out if he remembers anything about how he was infected with canine, and if there are other insidious plots of which he is aware. Long has The Cult of Otis stood vigilant against the long-feared dog uprising, but it appears that these canines may be much craftier than was previously believed.
So Sayeth Otis