As I mentioned previously, the tryout that I had planned for Mama Cat yesterday morning turned into a bit of a cluster of ducks (Hmmmm…I’m still pretty sure that’s what it’s called…wait, maybe just “clusterducks”?). At first, everything was fine. Mama Cat showed up on time and presented herself before the committee. She introduced herself and thanked us all for the doing her the honor of letting her show us what she can do.
The bird handler moved into position, and began doing routine moves with the simulated bird. Mama Cat was surprisingly quick and agile.
Mama Cat then pulled off a few impressive jumping moves, going after the simulated bird in mid-air. It was all very impressive.
Next, Mama Cat changed it up a bit by showing off some of her wall work. She jumped up on the cement wall and made lightning fast strikes at the simulated bird from a stationary position.
Mama Cat then jumped down from the wall and wowed us with some of her bipedal skills. She danced around on her back legs like a guardian and boxed at the bird with her front paws.
Mama Cat was really working into a frenzy now, and she said, “OK! I’m about to do one of my signature moves! I call it ‘The Flying Squirrel.'” But before Mama could execute her Flying Squirrel move, Beatrice came out of nowhere and pounced on the simulated bird!
Beatrice said, “I love this thing! Why didn’t anyone tell me we were playing ‘Bird Slayer’!?” Mama Cat was very upset and said, “Beatrice! We are in the middle of official Catlympic trials here!”, to which Beatrice replied, “Awesome! I want to be in the Catlympics!” And then she continued to chase the bird. Mama Cat just watched, not knowing what she should do.
At this point, I spoke up and said, “Beatrice! You are interfering with official Cult of Otis Catlympic business! This will not be tolerated! Step aside and let Mama Cat resume her trial at once!” But Mama Cat said, “No. I’ve totally lost my rhythm now. If Beatrice wants to try out, let her. I guess I wasn’t meant to be a Catlympian…” She then began to walk away.
Mama Cat retreated to a red chair at the back of the yard and sat on the arm of it sulking. I felt horrible for her, because I knew that she felt like she would now never achieve her dream.
With Mama Cat now out of the way, Beatrice was really getting into her attacks on the artificial bird. The Brothers and I hadn’t planned on having multiple cats try out for the Catlympics, but we also didn’t feel like it would be right to say that only Mama Cat could try out. So we did the only thing we could. We started watching Beatrice and grading her performance.
So Sayeth Otis
Tomorrow- The Tryouts Part II: Clusterducks