This morning at breakfast, while the Guardian was refusing to feed Me waffles again, I noticed that he had something else interesting on his plate. It was some kind of round patty. The Guardian noticed Me staring at it and said, “That’s veggie sausage Otis. You don’t want it.” As with the waffle, he was very wrong. I did want that veggie sausage. I don’t even know what a veggie sausage is, but I assumed that it must be from some wondrous creature called a Veggiebeast or something. It probably has nice crunchy bones like a little bird or mouse!
With visions of the wild Veggiebeast dancing in My mind, I redoubled My efforts in staring at the veggie sausage. The Guardian obviously noticed because he said, “OK, but you’re not going to like it…” and then he tore off a piece of the veggie sausage and offered it to Me.
As the tiny morsel of Veggiebeast touched My lips, I was overcome with delight. What an interesting flavor! What a unique texture! I had never tasted anything like it. It tasted so…so…forbidden!
After I had swallowed the Guardian’s offering, I was very pleased with him. I wanted to show him that he had done well so I began to gently massage his toes. It must have tickled, because he started to laugh.
I still don’t know what a Veggiebeast looks like, but I now know that they are completely delicious. They must not be something that everyone is able to digest easily though, because the Guardian said something like, “I hope that doesn’t give you diarrhea…” after I ate it. It’s too early to tell whether or not that will be the case, but if so, I can rest assured that the Guardians will do whatever it takes to get that litter box thoroughly scooped. Now, if you will excuse Me, I think I shall go lie down, because I’m feeling a bit gassy.
So Sayeth Otis