Make A Mew Year’s Resolution To Help Kitties!

My Disciples,

Hello?  Are you there?  Can you hear Me?

Otis Looking Out

Disciples? Are you out there?

Hmmm…come a little bit closer so I can smell you.  <sniff>…<sniff><sniff>.

Otis Sniffing.

<sniff>...<sniff><sniff>...

OK.  I just needed to smell your breath to make sure you have not been drinking too much of the human catnip drinks that the Guardians seem to enjoy on the last day of the year.  I need to make sure you are clear-headed (well, clear-headed enough) to make a very important Mew Year’s resolution.  Now, reach out your hand and place it against My paw.

Otis reaching out.

Reach out your hand and place it against My paw.

Is your hand on My paw?  Good.  Now repeat after Me, “In 2012, I resolve to do everything I can to improve the quality of life for all domestic kitties with whom I come into contact.  Furthermore, I resolve to keep my own kitties safely contained, well-enriched and thoroughly loved to the best of my ability, so help me Otis.”

What you have just made is your Mew Year’s resolution.  Unlike New Year’s resolutions, Mew Year’s resolutions cannot be broken.  If you break a Mew Year’s resolution, you will incur the Wrath of Otis!  You do NOT want to incur the Wrath of Otis.  If you do, someday when you are sleeping, I will sneak up on you and whack you in the nose with My Mighty Paw of Justice!  It will hurt terribly, especially if I decide to extend My razor-sharp Claws of Condemnation!

Otis batting a nose.

If you incur the Wrath of Otis, you will wake up one day to find yourself being whacked in the nose by My Mighty Paw of Justice!

So, if you have made the Mew Year’s resolution, My Disciples, do not break it.  And if you were sneaky and decided not to make the resolution when I asked you to, make it now!  Refusing to make the Mew Year’s resolution won’t result in a whacking from the Mighty Paw of Justice, but it just might anger Brother Henry.  If you anger Brother Henry…well…let’s just say you do not want to find out what happens when you anger Brother Henry.  Don’t risk it, My Disciples.  Make the Mew Year’s resolution with Me now, and together let’s make 2012 the best year yet for domestic kitties everywhere.

So Sayeth Otis

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10 Comments

Filed under The Good Word

10 responses to “Make A Mew Year’s Resolution To Help Kitties!

  1. Oh, Otis of the Great Hypnotic Eye and the razor-sharp Claws of Condemnation. May many hear your words. All the best mousies to you and yours for the new year

  2. Batya

    So resolved, Leader Otis! Absolutely, positively.

  3. Chris

    Mew Year’s resolutions made here at our house! We always do all we can anyway.

    Buggy, companion to Chris

  4. Nirmala

    My dear Otis
    I am from India.I just managed to catch and sterilise a feral cat in respect of your wishes.Have a great year writing! All the best to you and your pals!!

  5. This will be my one and only resolution for the New Year, Sir Otis! Happy New Years to you and yours.

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