Note To Guardians: Morning Pets Are At 5:15 am Sharp!

My Disciples,

This morning I survived the worst tragedy ever in the history of the world.  I did not receive My morning pets until 8:37 am!  I thought I had made it clear to the Guardians that morning pets are to be administered at 5:15 am sharp on the light blue rug in the downstairs bathroom.  At 5:10 this morning The Brothers and I jumped up as we do every morning, expecting at least one of the Guardians to do the same.  The minutes rolled by and we began to walk over the still sleeping Guardians and bat things around that we knew would make noise.  At 5:13 am, the larger Guardian finally got up, but instead of heading downstairs to the designated petting station he grabbed our dry food bag and put some in our bowl.  He then went right back to bed!  I was so angry I just barely managed to eat most of the bowl of food he had just poured!

Otis looking very annoyed.

Blast the Guardians! It is unacceptable that I had to wait more than three hours for My morning pets.

The Guardian stayed in bed for more than three hours after that.  Despite My best efforts, I could not rouse him.  The Brothers even refused to aid Me in my attempts at waking him because they had been completely suckered by that offering of food.  Eventually I became so tired from trying so hard to get My rightful pets that I fell asleep.  When the Guardian finally got up shortly after 8:30 am, I considered refusing to let him pet Me.  In the end, I allowed him to pet Me, but for far less than the usual 30 – 45 minutes that I demand.  I also drove home the extent of My displeasure by offering up My belly for scratches and then mauling the Guardian’s hand with claws and teeth.  One way or another, this human will be trained!

So Sayeth Otis

Cult of Otis Store

Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!



Filed under Daily Life

4 responses to “Note To Guardians: Morning Pets Are At 5:15 am Sharp!

  1. Sorry, Otis. Humans are notoriously difficult to train. I do wish you well.

  2. Poor Otis!! Such a heartbreaking story. I hope they will make up for this terrible lapse of caring.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s