Barfathon Conspiracy Investigation: Day 3

My Disciples,

When we left off yesterday, I was planning to seek out witnesses to the Valhalla barfathon and start identifying suspects.  My plans were drastically altered this morning when I woke up to discover that a second barfathon had taken place overnight in the living room!  The padded bench in front of the computer desk was badly hit, as was the nearby floor.  As in the Valhalla incident, analysis of the scene seems to indicate the presence of not one, but two barfers!  Consider Exhibit A below.

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

As you can see in Exhibit A, it appears that one barfer was sitting atop the padded bench.  The directionality of the barf indicates that they were facing the edge of the bench at the time of emission.  On the ground near the bench, a second barf, consisting mainly of a large hairball, can also be seen.  the smear on the carpet indicates that this barf was ejected toward the large wooden cat tree with drawers.  Small dots of regurgitation are also present on the rug closer to the bench, but directionality on those drops was unclear, possibly indicating that they fell nearly straight down.  But the most interesting piece of evidence to be found is the oversized, plush novelty cherry which is resting between the large hairball and the small barf drops.  A better view of the cherry can be seen in Exhibit B below.

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

Exhibit B shows a close-up view of the carnage on the ground.  The directionality of the big hairball barf is confirmed in this view not only by the streak, but also by the splatter pattern on the nearby cat tree.  Note that the plush novelty cherry is unsoiled.  The carpet directly underneath the cherry is also unsoiled.  This leads Me to believe that the barf drops on the carpet to the right are castoff from the barf that occurred on top of the bench.  If they had resulted from the floor barf ricocheting off the cat tree, I would expect that the cherry (or the carpet underneath it if the cherry was not present during the barf) would have been soiled by some of the flying barf.  Since all of the barf spots are virtually identical in dryness, I theorize that they were barfed nearly simultaneously by two kitties facing one another.

The final thing that is important about this evidence is that the oversized, plush novelty cherry is one of Brother Henry’s favorite toys.  I must interrogate him to find out what he knows, but not tonight…because I feel a bit sick to my stomach after looking at all of this barf.

Otis looking ill

I need to interrogate Brother Henry...but right now I'm not feeling so good.

I think I’m just going to lay here for a little while and let My stomach settle, but rest assured, My Disciples, that as soon as I no longer feel queasy I will get to the bottom of this completely disgusting mystery!

So Sayeth Otis

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4 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

4 responses to “Barfathon Conspiracy Investigation: Day 3

  1. Enough with the barf-a-thon Otis. Time to name names!

  2. That could be just one kitty. The stuff on the black thing would be the first attempt to remove the hairball, which failed to shift it because it’s big and horrible. Instead it seems to contain the mostly digested remains of some food and a little bit of hair. The one on the floor has less extraneous matter, but has shifted the large hairball. Several cat food manufacturers make food designed to reduce hairballs, maybe the guardians should consider that? This does appear to be caused by hairball rather than another reason.

    Your resident barf expert.
    PS, I could write a book, but seriously, who would buy it??? 😀

    • Knotrune, you might be surprised (and frightened) by the size of the market for a good book on hairball barfs.

      Unfortunately, the brothers and I are on a prescription food because of Brother Henry’s and My recurrent potty problems. I can tell the Guardians hate feeding the food to us. I’ve heard them say something about the food containing “by-products”. Apparently, that’s not something they think kitties should be eating, but whenever they try to feed us better, non-prescription food the potty problems come back. 😦

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