Brother Oliver Learns the Art of Sneaky

My Disciples,

Ever since My successful (and very devastating) sneak attack on Brother Oliver, he has been begging Me to teach him the art of sneaky.  I had been very resistant to the idea before Brother Oliver pointed out that if I taught him, I would then have a second High Priest I could rely on to protect Me from danger.  That way, Brother Henry could take a break now and then.  It seemed like a reasonable argument so I agreed to begin Brother Oliver’s training.  With a little help from the Guardians, he had his first lesson last night in Kitty Valhalla.  I figured our tunnel would be the perfect place from which to launch simulated sneak attacks.  It would also give Me a good view so I could critique his technique.

Oliver in tunnel preparing to attack a feather.

The tunnel in Kitty Valhalla was the perfect place from which Brother Oliver could launch simulated sneak attacks.

It was slow going at first.  The Guardians would wave a peacock feather at the entrance of the tunnel and Brother Oliver’s job was to burst forth at an unexpected moment and attack the feather.  On his first attempt, he missed by a mile.

Brother Oliver swipes at a feather but misses.

Brother Oliver missed by a mile on his first attempt at attacking the feather.

I told him not to just lash out blindly.  I told him to focus his eyes on the feather and follow it while it moved.  I told him he needed to anticipate where it would be and then strike.  He did a little better the second time.

Oliver going after the feather again

The second time Brother Oliver did better, but still missed.

Although Brother Oliver had kept his eyes on the feather during his second attack attempt, he still came up short.  He got a little bit frustrated with himself at this point and stood up on his hind legs lashing out wildly from the tunnel.

Oliver on his hind legs lashing out with spread claws at a feather.

Brother Oliver became frustrated. He stood up and lashed out wildly.

I managed to get him calmed down.  After taking a few deep breaths, he was ready to try again.  I told him to imagine that he was not striking at just a feather, but at an entire crunchy, delicious bird.  With a renewed sense of purpose in his eyes, he crept back into the shadows of the tunnel.  When the Guardian dangled the feather in front of the tunnel again, Brother Oliver was waiting to spring.

And spring he did.  As the feather came into view, Brother Oliver sprang forth and trapped it between his two front paws.  It was a perfect strike!  I was proud of the progress he had made.

Brother Oliver clamping both paws around a feather.

Brother Oliver sprung forth at just the right moment, trapping the feather between his two outstretched paws.

Under My tutelage, Brother Oliver had come far in developing his sneaky skills.  Now, if Brother Henry ever needs a break, I feel confident that Brother Oliver will be nearby, hiding in the shadows and waiting to strike at the slightest indication that I am in danger.  Of course, I’m never really in danger thanks to the Guardians.  Still, when it comes to being a kitty, you can never be too safe!

So Sayeth Otis

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Filed under Daily Life

5 responses to “Brother Oliver Learns the Art of Sneaky

  1. My CIA cat has perfected the sneak attack on toes… I pray Brother Oliver never reaches that level *shudder*.

    • I sometimes like to attack toes too! Usually, I wait until the Guardians are in bed and almost asleep. Then, when they move one of their toes underneath the covers I pounce on it! It’s always a complete surprise to them. I think they appreciate it even though they seem to swear a lot afterward.

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