My Disciples,
You may recall that a week or so ago the Guardians seemed to have a change of heart about letting the Brothers and I eat plants. They even gave us our very own plant to eat! Well, we definitely enjoyed nibbling on that plant, but in recent days it has started to lose its appeal.

In recent days, our yummy plant has begun to lose its appeal.
Since the plant the Guardians gave to us is less tasty than it used to be, I thought I could help Myself to some other plants that the Guardians recently started growing. The Guardians had a different opinion though, so it seems that they must have decided that it’s not OK to eat plants after all. I decided to take matters into My own hands and learn to grow my own delicious greens. The challenge I’ve run into though is that there is so much to learn, and I want to learn it all at once! The first thing I did was gather up all the books I could find on growing plants. I thought if I rubbed My cheeks against the books I could absorb their information more quickly.

I thought that rubbing My cheeks against the books would help...it didn't.
I didn’t seem to be gaining any knowledge by rubbing on the books though, so I decided to take a different approach. I pressed My ear against the stack of books and tried to listen to what they had to say.

I pressed My ear against the books and listened intently, but they told Me nothing.
The books were silent. Again, I decided to try a different approach. I figured that if I slept on the books, I would be able to absorb their information in My sleep. It would be quicker and easier than reading, and much more restful.

I thought I could absorb the books' information in my sleep, but they were too uncomfortable to sleep on.
Unfortunately, the books were all way to uncomfortable for Me to fall asleep on. When I was a homeless kitty wandering alone in the wilderness, I used to be able to sleep almost anywhere. I even periodically slept between two garbage cans outside the house that later became My Indoor Domain. But I guess now that I’ve had a taste of the soft beds in The Promised Land, nothing less will do. So, after trying all of these things to no avail, I have decided to see what I can learn from the books the old fashioned way.

I have decided I will have to read all of the books individually.
I will read each of the books and see what they can teach Me. Now, I just need to figure out which one I want to read first and, more importantly, I need to figure out how I can open them and turn the pages when I don’t have any thumbs. Perhaps I will make the Guardians lend Me theirs.
So Sayeth Otis.
