Not What Brother Oliver Expected

My Disciples,

Yesterday Brothers Henry and Oliver were snuggling together on the couch. Brother Henry seemed to be restless, and Brother Oliver asked him if everything was OK. Brother Henry said, “Brother Oliver, can I chew your ear for a while?”

Brother Henry asked Brother Oliver if he could chew his ear for a while.

Thinking Brother Henry was using a figure of speech meaning, “Can we talk?”, Brother Oliver said, “Of course Brother Henry!” That was a big mistake.

Brother Oliver said that Brother Henry could chew his ear. He didn’t know he was being literal.

Perhaps Brother Oliver will ask for a little clarification next time before he agrees to a request from Brother Henry.

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Sayings #5

My Disciples,

It’s time to let you in on another common kitty saying.  Again, humans use a saying that is pretty much the same as this one, but they always leave off the end.  The saying is:

“Don’t cry over spilt milk, because you will be in the way when I go to lap it up.”

When milk spills, please don't cry over it. Instead, get out of My way as quickly as possible so I can lap it up.

So please defer to this bit of kitty wisdom if you should happen to have a dairy spill in your general vicinity.  Oh, and please warn us if the milk you have spilled is of the soy or rice variety.  Bleah!  I don’t ever want to make that mistake again…

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Sayings #4

My Disciples,

It’s time to let you all in on another common kitty saying.  Truth be told, humans made up the first part of this saying, we cats just finished it.  Kitty Saying #4 is:

“While the cat’s away, the mouse will play …<CRUNCH>… Surprise little mouse!  I wasn’t really away.”

He he he...foolish little mouse.

See?  I think the saying is much more satisfying now that kitties have given it a proper ending.  And if you are a little mouse reading this, I think I will go away for awhile now so feel free to play!  <CRUNCH!>…works every time…

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Sayings #3

My Disciples,

It’s time for another crunchy little bite of kitty wisdom.  Again, I believe there is a human counterpart to this kitty saying, but humans inevitably leave one crucial word out.  Kitty Saying # 3 is:

“There is more than one way to skin a cat abuser.“

Animal abuse is pure evil. Fortunately, there is more than one way to skin a cat abuser.

As you can tell by the serious look on My face in the photo above, animal abuse is no laughing matter.  In fact, it’s one of the Cult of Otis Nine Deadly Sins.  In all seriousness though, the Cult of Otis would never advocate violence.  Fortunately, there is more than one way to skin a cat abuser, including locking them up so they can’t continue to abuse.

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Sayings #2

My Disciples,

Today I bring you another kibble of feline wisdom.  It may sound familiar, but I think humans typically leave off the last part.  The saying is

“Curiosity killed the cat, but only because the cat’s guardians weren’t doing their job.”

 

Yes, we are curious creatures, but it is up to our guardians to give us a safe environment in which to explore our curiosity.

So you should embrace and encourage your kitty’s curious nature, but it is up to you to ensure that kitty’s curiosity does not lead him or her into danger.  Be a true kitty Guardian, and ensure that curiosity never kills the cat.

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Sayings #1

My Disciples,

You may not be aware of this, but we cats have common sayings just like humans do.  Actually, many of them are even very similar to the human sayings but, in My opinion, they are far wiser.  I have decided to enlighten all of you by sharing some of the most common kitty sayings with you.  Today, I bring you the first of many. It is:

“Fool Me once, shame on you.  Fool Me twice, still shame on you.  Stop trying to fool Me and go fix My dinner!“

Seriously. Go fix My dinner.

So there you have it.  Your first glimpse at the secret wisdom of kitty sayings.  I will be enlightening you with additional sayings periodically, so please do your mental exercises so your minds will be well prepared for these “knowledge bombs”.

So Sayeth Otis

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