I Am Instituting Additional Security Measures.

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here. First of all, there is no new news to report about The Leader’s condition except that I heard the Guardians say they have made another appointment for Him on June 3. I believe this is with the “nurr-all-o-jist” that Thomas mentioned yesterday. For now though, The Leader is staying in high spirits despite His difficulties. He is eating, drinking and purring loudly when the Guardians brush Him and give Him treats. I take that as a good sign.

So, while The Leader is dealing with these health challenges, I am instituting additional security measures to keep Him safe. I started off by doing a thorough security sweep of His entire Indoor and Outdoor Domains. I thought I had found a breach in the outer wall of the Outdoor Domain, but closer inspection showed that it was just a result of the Guardians’ questionable building skills.

I thought this loose wire meant there was a breach in the outer wall. In reality, it just meant there was a breach in the Guardians’ attention to detail.

As agents of The Long-feared Dog Uprising are undoubtedly aware of The Leader’s vulnerable condition, I have placed Brother Oliver on sentinel duty in the front window. He is to keep his eyes peeled at all times for any sign that we are about to be attacked by the mongrel horde. I have to keep an eye on him though because he easily becomes distracted by his own reflection in the window.

Brother Oliver is watching for signs of the mongrel horde… when he is not admiring his own reflection.

I have also decided to take this opportunity to further the training of Junior Agent T. We have been having nightly meetings on the posing benches in the living room, during which I brief him on the latest intelligence and answer all of his security related questions. Strangely, most of his questions seem to be about elaborate scenarios involving attacks by one or more wiener dogs.

I have been briefing Junior Agent T and answer all of his questions… which are mostly about wiener dogs.

Now I must be off to perform another patrol of the perimeter. The Leader is hanging in there, but we’re going to make sure that He has nothing else to worry about while the Guardians continue to do all in their power to find out why He feels bad and how to make Him feel better.

So Says Brother Henry

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Things That Go Bump in the Night

My Disciples,

For several nights in a row, after Brother Oliver and I have fallen asleep on the bed with the Guardians, we have been awakened by strange sounds coming from the living room upstairs. There have been bumps and thuds, and general sounds of a ruckus. Curiosity finally got the best of Me last night, and I dispatched Brother Oliver to investigate the matter. He returned with some shocking video footage of what was going on up there in the dark.

Although these nightly sessions are very loud, I for one will sleep better knowing that they will result in our being better prepared to tackle would be terrierist agents of the Long-feared Dog Uprising…. but, I guess I’ll be doing most of My sleeping during the day… when it’s quiet.

So Sayeth Otis

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Strange Voices Sunday

My Disciples,

This morning, I was napping on the living room floor when I was awoken by a sound. I didn’t hear it very clearly. It was almost more of a feeling than an actual sound. I thought that I must have dreamt it.

I was awoken by a sound. I barely sensed it, really, but I got the feeling that something was close by. I thought maybe I was dreaming.

Just as I was drifting back off to sleep, I heard it again. It was louder this time and it caused me to jerk awake and quickly sit up. It sounded like a voice! I couldn’t quite make it out though, because it had this airy, whispery quality that made it both difficult to locate and hard to decipher. I was beginning to feel somewhat unnerved.

I thought I heard it again, louder this time, like a whispery voice!

I listened for two full minutes, but I didn’t hear it again. I started to relax and I laid back down to continue My nap. It was hard to go back to sleep because I was still a little bit on edge.

I didn’t hear the sound again. I laid back down to resume My nap.

Slowly but surely, sleep began to take Me. As I drifted into unconsciousness, I thought I heard the sound again. This time it was clear that it was a whispering voice, and I could just barely make out the words. The voice said, “Beware wiener dogs, for I am as shadow… you will not touch The Leader while I draw breath…”

When I awoke several hours later, it occurred to Me that I had probably really been asleep the whole time. Waking up, hearing the voice, going back to sleep… all of it was really just a strange dream. Still… it seemed so real! Our subconscious minds are so strange sometimes.

So Sayeth Otis

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Mama Cat’s Aerial Adventure- Part II

My Disciples,

When we left off yesterday, Mama Cat had walked to the edge of the roof and launched herself. I was horrified, but I couldn’t turn away. Mama hit the fence below her, front paws first.

Mama hit the fence front paws first.

Mama Cat’s Aerial Adventure- Part I

My Disciples,

You may recall the time I looked out the window and spotted Mama Cat on the roof next door. It scared the hiss out of Me and I told her to get back down to the ground ASAP. Well, yesterday I looked out the window and saw Mama on the roof again! But this time it was the roof of her garage.

Mama cat was on the roof again! This time it was the roof of the garage.

Plenty of Posing Benches

My Disciples,

You may recall that some time ago the Guardians gave us a fancy posing bench.  We all loved it, especially when we discovered we could scratch it. In fact, we all loved it so much that we started getting into little spats about who should be allowed to pose on the bench at any given time. Eventually, the Guardians tired of our arguments and locked the bench away in a closet. We thought we would never see the bench again, but Brother Henry entered the living room yesterday to find Brother Oliver perched atop the bench in a relaxed pose!

Brother Henry entered the living room to find Brother Oliver posing on the bench!

A Mysterious Journey

My Disciples,

The strangest thing happened to Me this morning. I went downstairs to the bedroom and climbed into My favorite comfy basket. It was cool and dark in the room, and I fell asleep pretty quickly. Some time later, I awoke with a feeling of warmth on My fur. I opened My eyes and was puzzled to find Myself surrounded by bright light.

I fell asleep in the cool, dark bedroom, but I woke up warm and surrounded by light.

I was still groggy from My nap, but as My eyes began to adjust to the light I looked around. I was still in My basket, but the basket was now sitting in My Outdoor Domain!

Somehow I had been transported from the bedroom to My Outdoor Domain!

I couldn’t believe it. How could this have happened? Was My favorite basket secretly some kind of transportation device? I got up and began scanning the ground in front of the basket for signs of tire marks, or maybe some kind of scorch marks from jet powered hover engines hidden on the underside of the basket. As I did so, Brother Oliver walked up and stood beside Me. He began looking at the ground too.

As I scanned the ground for tire tracks or scorch marks, Brother Oliver joined Me.

Eventually, Brother Oliver’s curiosity got the best of him. He asked, “Ummmm… Leader Otis? What’cha doin’?” I said, “Well, Brother Oliver, I’m trying to figure out how I got here.” Brother Oliver looked at Me for a second before saying, “I can tell you that! You see, Leader Otis, when an un-neutered boy cat is left alone for more than three consecutive seconds with an un-spayed girl cat, they…”

I interjected saying, “NO BROTHER OLIVER! THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEAN! Jeez. I’m trying to figure out how both Me and the basket got from the bedroom to My Outdoor Domain. I can’t figure out whether the basket has hidden wheels or jet hover engines. Hey! Does that dark spot look like a scorch mark to you?” Turning to walk away, Brother Oliver said, “Nope. That’s rubber from the sole of a shoe. If you think about it, I’m pretty sure you will figure out a more logical explanation for how you got here.”

Brother Oliver said that the dark mark on the cement looked like it was shoe rubber.

As I looked closer, I could see that Brother O was correct. It was shoe rubber. And now that I thought about it, he was also right that there was a more logical explanation for how I ended up in My Outdoor Domain. Of course! It’s so simple I’m surprised I didn’t see it before. My basket doesn’t have wheels or jet engines. It has feet! Now if I can only turn it over to see what kind of shoes it wears. I bet they are really cool!

So Sayeth Otis

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The Tommy-O Drift

My Disciples,

There is a thing that Thomas does that I really wish I could capture on video. So far though, I have been unsuccessful. The Guardians call it the “Tommy-O Drift”. I know that name sounds strange, but apparently they came up with it after seeing a preview for what looked like a ridiculously bad movie called “The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift”. In the preview, there were all of these kids driving crazily around the streets of Tokyo. They would turn corners so fast that the back end of their car would slide sideways, and that’s what they called the Tokyo Drift.

The Tommy-O drift is similar in that it starts with Thomas running crazily around the house. He puts his ears back, for speed, and just runs flat out through the kitchen. When he reaches the doorway to the back hall, he takes a hard right. His momentum causes his butt to continue moving straight even as he is turning right, so he goes into a power slide for a second or two. Then, as the momentum dissipates, he tears off down the hallway at a 90- degree angle to his original direction of travel. It’s amazing every time I see it!

In a Tommy-O Drift, Thomas’s rear end is traveling in a different direction than his front end. This photo is a simulation. You can tell it is not a real drift because his ears are not back, for speed.

As I said, some day I hope to document the Tommy-O Drift on video for all to gaze at in wonder. So far though, we have had little luck predicting when a drift might happen, and thus we are never ready with the camera. For now, you’ll just have to take My word for it that the Tommy-O Drift is  quite a sight to see!

So Sayeth Otis

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Happy Mother’s Day to All the Kitty Mamas Out There

My Disciples,

Today is Mother’s Day, so I just wanted to give a shout out to all of those human kitty mamas out there! Thanks for giving us love and keeping us safe!

One of our Guardians is also our kitty mama. Kitty mamas rock!

So happy Mother’s Day to all of you from your furry, four-legged kids.

So Sayeth Otis

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Leader Otis Is Wrong About Me

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here. Yesterday, Leader Otis said that He thinks I have been letting myself go lately. That could not be farther from the truth! Unbeknownst to Him, I have been participating in daily training sessions with the Guardians up in kitty Valhalla. I take my fitness very seriously! But I don’t want you to just take my word for it. Why don’t you join me for today’s training session so I can prove it to you! Here we go.

I have assumed my ready stance. I will now wait for the Guardian to lead me in my training.