You may recall that some time ago I dabbled a bit in criminal activities. While My first attempt at being a cat burglar didn’t turn out to be quite as rewarding as I hoped, and My second attempt nearly blinded Me, I couldn’t help but fall back into My criminal ways yesterday when I once again discovered the Guardians’ camera bag lying unprotected on the floor. What was even more irresistible was that it was lying there wide open! I immediately looked around to see if the coast was clear and then I dove right in to see what wonders the bag held for Me.
The first thing I removed was the squishy thing with the stick on it that I had stolen during My first attempt at cat burglary. I knew it to be of no value what-so-ever, so I simply discarded it behind Me. I then looked at the rest of the bag’s contents to see if there might be anything worth taking.
As I peered into the bag, seeing all kinds of things that I didn’t recognize, I reflected more seriously on My last two experiences with cat burglary. Hmmmmm…during the first attempt I had ended up having air blown in My face. During the second attempt, I was blinded by the light of a thousand white-hot suns. Perhaps the remaining items in this bag held even graver danger to the curious thief.
In the end, I decided that, although the bag may indeed contain some things that would be truly wondrous to possess, the risks far outweighed the potential benefits. I decided to do something that is nearly impossible for a cat to do. I decided to ignore My overpowering sense of curiosity. Unfortunately, the effort immediately exhausted Me and I fell over on My side in a nearly catatonic state.
I have no idea how long I lay there, but I was eventually roused by the sound of food bowls clinking together in the kitchen. My curiosity instantly shifted from the bag of dubious camera gadgets to the wondrous parade of culinary delights that, at this moment, was undoubtedly taking place in the kitchen. When I returned to the living room twenty minutes later, the camera bag had been zipped closed. That’s right…closed. Oh My gosh. I just know there must be something amazing in there. If only I could get to it…
So Sayeth Otis