The Camera Bag Cat Burglar Returns

My Disciples,

You may recall that some time ago I dabbled a bit in criminal activities.  While My first attempt at being a cat burglar didn’t turn out to be quite as rewarding as I hoped, and My second attempt nearly blinded Me, I couldn’t help but fall back into My criminal ways yesterday when I once again discovered the Guardians’ camera bag lying unprotected on the floor.  What was even more irresistible was that it was lying there wide open!  I immediately looked around to see if the coast was clear and then I dove right in to see what wonders the bag held for Me.

The bag was on the floor, wide open and unguarded! I couldn't help Myself.

The first thing I removed was the squishy thing with the stick on it that I had stolen during My first attempt at cat burglary.  I knew it to be of no value what-so-ever, so I simply discarded it behind Me.  I then looked at the rest of the bag’s contents to see if there might be anything worth taking.

I discarded the squishy ball with the stick on it, it was worthless, and then I inspected the rest of the bag's contents.

As I peered into the bag, seeing all kinds of things that I didn’t recognize, I reflected more seriously on My last two experiences with cat burglary.  Hmmmmm…during the first attempt I had ended up having air blown in My face.  During the second attempt, I was blinded by the light of a thousand white-hot suns.  Perhaps the remaining items in this bag held even graver danger to the curious thief.

The last two attempts at cat burglary had not ended well for Me. Was I doing the wise thing by attempting this again?

In the end, I decided that, although the bag may indeed contain some things that would be truly wondrous to possess, the risks far outweighed the potential benefits.  I decided to do something that is nearly impossible for a cat to do.  I decided to ignore My overpowering sense of curiosity.  Unfortunately, the effort immediately exhausted Me and I fell over on My side in a nearly catatonic state.

The act of suspending My curiosity took a heavy toll on My body. I fell over and lay on My side next to the camera bag.

I have no idea how long I lay there, but I was eventually roused by the sound of food bowls clinking together in the kitchen.  My curiosity instantly shifted from the bag of dubious camera gadgets to the wondrous parade of culinary delights that, at this moment, was undoubtedly taking place in the kitchen.  When I returned to the living room twenty minutes later, the camera bag had been zipped closed.  That’s right…closed.  Oh My gosh.  I just know there must be something amazing in there.  If only I could get to it…

So Sayeth Otis

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Kitty Sayings #2

My Disciples,

Today I bring you another kibble of feline wisdom.  It may sound familiar, but I think humans typically leave off the last part.  The saying is

“Curiosity killed the cat, but only because the cat’s guardians weren’t doing their job.”

 

Yes, we are curious creatures, but it is up to our guardians to give us a safe environment in which to explore our curiosity.

So you should embrace and encourage your kitty’s curious nature, but it is up to you to ensure that kitty’s curiosity does not lead him or her into danger.  Be a true kitty Guardian, and ensure that curiosity never kills the cat.

So Sayeth Otis

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The Suspense Is Killing Me!

My Disciples,

After assembling the low bench and placing it under the window upstairs earlier this week, the Guardians have continued with their mysterious ways!  This morning they hung a sign above the staircase leading to the upstairs room.

There's the sign, "Kitty Valhalla". What does it mean!?

After seeing the sign, I meowed at the Guardians demanding an explanation.  They just smiled and said I’d have to wait and see.  Me!?  Wait!?  That’s unacceptable!  I meowed at them again but they just walked away.  I considered chasing them and nipping their calves but they seemed pretty firm about not telling Me.

I fear the suspense will be My undoing. Why must the Guardians be so stubborn!?

I have tried to educate the Guardians about the dangers of keeping a kitty in suspense.  They know we all suffer from insatiable curiosity, and suspense to us is like kryptonite to Superman.  After discovering the sign and being denied an explanation, I was stricken immobile in a paralyzing bout of suspense.  I lay on the staircase for what must have been at least five minutes, unable even to get up and demand My afternoon snack.  Eventually, based on sheer kitty will power, I gathered enough strength to drag My suspense-ridden body to the top of the stairs.  The arrow on the sign pointed in that direction, so I believed the meaning would eventually be revealed to Me there.

I will sit here and wait until the meaning of the sign is revealed!

So I will sit at the top of the stairs and wait until the Guardians relieve My suspense and tell Me what Kitty Valhalla is.  I dictated this blog entry to Brother Oliver so he could update you all on this dire situation.  I have also instructed him to bring me some kibble, some wet food, a large bowl of water, three pounds of catnip, a can of tuna (only if he can figure out how to get it out of the cupboard and open it) and My Sacred Orange Pillow of Enlightenment.  I don’t know how long this ordeal of suspense will last and I figured, if I’m going to suffer, I might as well suffer in comfort and style.  Purr for Me, My Disciples.  This may be My greatest trial yet!

So Sayeth Otis

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