I Would Like To Lodge A Formal Complaint

My Disciples,

I would like to make a formal complaint to the Guardians. I know I need to take My medications so that I can get better, and to be honest, one of the medicines tastes a little like chicken, so I don’t really mind that at all. The other one, however, tastes NOTHING like chicken. In fact, I think it might have been made for dogs instead of cats because it has a sweet, cherry-like smell to it. Fortunately, I can’t taste the sweetness since we cats lack the tastebud that detects that particular flavor. I can smell it though, and that’s bad enough! I don’t want that stuff anywhere near My mouth!

I would like to lodge a formal complaint about My nasty, cherry meds.

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Oh, and one other thing, I would also like to express My dissatisfaction that I have to walk around with a mostly naked belly. Yes, the people at The Bad Place shaved My belly fur so they could use that ultra-ma-sound thingy to look at My insides, and the fur is taking a long time to grow back. It’s not very dignified to have My kitty-nips showing all the time!

One of My kitty nipples is clearly visible. The shame! I hear I would receive a hefty fine for showing this on network television!

And another thing, I… wait… here comes one of the Guardians.

Oh… My… paws! That feels amazing!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Never mind, My Disciples. All is forgiven.

So Sayeth Otis

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Real Story Sunday

My Disciples,

Thanks to everyone who participated in Random Photo Saturday! It was a lot of fun to read all of the different takes on the photos and see how varied the interpretations of our poses were. Brother Oliver was especially excited, mostly because it was his idea in the first place. He also said that we should do a follow-up today with our own captions that describe what was really going on in our heads in those photos. Let’s start with the photo of Brothers Oliver and Henry:

“Yeah, you might be able to get through me, but you’ll be sorry when you see what’s waiting in the shadows behind me!”

And now for My photo. Disciple Becca came pretty close with her interpretation. Here’s what I was thinking:

“Look into My eyes… you WILL bring that bag of freeze-dried chicken to Me.”

And finally, we have Thomas’s photo contribution. Here’s what he was thinking:

“Yes, I see the finger. If you move it closer, I might let you scratch me with it, I might run away, or I might lose my stuff and try to bite or swat it. Even I’m not sure which it will be…”

So there you have it, the real stories behind the random photos. Thanks to all who played along yesterday! Perhaps we will have more random photo days in the future!

So Sayeth Otis

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It’s Random Photo Saturday!

My Disciples,

Brother Oliver came running up to Me earlier this week and he was all excited about his new idea for the blog. He said, “Leader Otis! Let’s do a day where each of us just picks a random photo of ourselves to post, and we let your Disciples come up with captions or stories that go with each photo!” I thought about this for a moment, and I must admit, I kind of liked the idea. I said, “I’m intrigued, Brother Oliver, but when do you propose we do this?” He replied, “How about Saturday?” When I asked him why Saturday, he said, “No reason. I just picked a day at random…” That was good enough for Me.

So, My Disciples, I declare this Random Photo Saturday. Since it was Brother Oliver’s Idea, we will start with the random photo that he chose. Actually, he convinced Brother Henry to team up with him on this choice, so this photo is the entry from both of them. Here it is:

Hmmm… quite a provocative entry, don’t you think? Is there a story here? A caption to sum it all up?

Next we move on to Thomas’s choice. It’s a photo I didn’t quite expect.

Very interesting, Thomas.

And finally we have My own entry. I don’t know why I like it, but I do.

There’s a story here somewhere, or at least a good caption…

So there you have it. Three random photos on which you can let your imaginations run wild. If any of the photos speaks to you, share your story or caption in the comments section. The more people play, the more fun it will be!

So Sayeth Otis

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The Leader Had A Bitemare

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here. Last night was very scary! Leader Otis and I were sleeping on the bed with the Guardians. He was snuggled up against the side of the smaller Guardian, and I was on her opposite side, snuggled between her and the bigger Guardian. At around one o’clock in the morning the smaller Guardian suddenly sat up and shouted out in pain. The bigger Guardian bolted upright and asked what was going on, and the smaller Guardian said that Leader Otis had bit her in His sleep!

Last night, Leader Otis bit one of the Guardians while He was asleep.

Leader Otis has always suffered from nightmares, and He has always been prone to twitching and sometimes moving his legs like He is running in His sleep. In the last year or so though, He sometimes gets worked up into terrified fits of hissing, scratching and generally lashing out while sleeping. He always calms down immediately after the Guardians wake Him up, but these bouts are often very upsetting to Brother Henry and me if we are snuggled up to The Leader.

Apparently, last night The Leader was caught in the throes of one of these episodes while the Guardian’s hand was resting on His belly. Without even knowing what He was doing, The Leader grabbed her hand with his paws and pulled it to his mouth, sinking his teeth deep into the meaty part of the palm below the thumb. The Guardian was bleeding badly as she rushed off to the bathroom, and I think I even heard her get sick in there from the pain. Meanwhile, Leader Otis had woken up and was acting like nothing at all was out of the ordinary. He was completely unaware of what He had just done.

The next morning, the Guardian that was bitten went to the doctor. Her hand is badly swollen and very warm. The doctor put her on some pretty strong medicine to help her get better. Neither of the Guardians are upset with The Leader, but the whole situation was upsetting none-the-less.

The Guardians aren’t upset with The Leader. He’s still getting plenty of scratches and pets.

I have never heard of cats lashing out and biting or scratching in their sleep. I heard the Guardians discussing what had happened and it sounded like they were trying to figure out whether or not these episodes were some kind of seizure related to The Leader’s other neurological issues. They said they were going to try to film one of the episodes to show to the people at The Bad Place.

For lack of a better term, I have decided to call these events “bitemares”. It seems to fit because it looks like The Leader is having a bad dream, and then He starts to swat and bite like He is defending Himself from something. It’s like a nightmare with biting, so bitemare sounds right to me. If anyone else has ever had this kind of experience with a kitty, the Guardians and I would love to hear about it. I have certainly never seen anything like it before, and it sounds like the Guardians haven’t either.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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Brother Henry Says There’s Nothing to See Here

My Disciples,

Yesterday, I was relaxing in the sun on the living room floor when I decided I needed a snack. I got up and started making My way toward the kitchen, but since I’m a bit challenged with My mobility these days I stopped next to the couch for a moment to rest. When I did so, I heard Brother Henry’s voice say, “Oh, uh, hi Leader Otis. Please don’t worry about me. There’s nothing to see here…” I guess Brother Henry thought I was stopping by the couch to see what he was up to. In all honesty, I didn’t even know he was on the couch before he spoke. I had seen one of the Guardians sitting on it, but not Brother Henry. When I looked up to see where Brother Henry was, I was a bit shocked by what I saw.

Here is what I saw when I looked up at the couch.

Brother Henry didn’t take his eyes off of the Guardian, but he must have sensed that I was now looking at him. He said, “Ummmm… I’m on a break…” At that point I decided that My own break was over and I motored on through the kitchen and to My food bowl.

So Sayeth Otis

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The Leader’s Test Results Are In

Disciples of Otis,

Brother Oliver here. I overheard the Guardians talking after a phone call came in yesterday, and it sounds like The Leader’s test results came back. The Guardians were a little frustrated because the people at The Bad Place said that the Myasthenia gravis titer was within the normal range. From what they were saying though, this disorder is sometimes difficult to definitively diagnose in cats, and the test results don’t necessarily mean that Leader Otis doesn’t have it. The Guardians are supposed to continue giving The Leader His current course of medications and report back to  The Bad Place in two to four weeks. In the meantime, Leader Otis is still hanging in there.

The Guardians didn’t get the definitive answer they were hoping for in The Leader’s test results. The Leader continues to hang in there.

Now, since The Leader just started His full course of medications on Friday, it is still to early to tell if He is improving. Still, I think He might be doing just a tiny bit better. I mean, I hope it’s not just wishful thinking, but It seems like He has been sitting up at least a little bit more than He was before.

It may be wishful thinking, but I think The Leader might be sitting up a little more these days.

Also, I saw The Leader doing something yesterday that I haven’t seen Him do in a while. The Guardian had left his camera bag open, and Leader Otis took notice. I was so shocked at what I was seeing, I didn’t pay enough attention to the camera settings. So the photos I got were kinda blurry.

The Guardian left his camera bag open, and Leader Otis took an interest. He hasn’t done that in a while.

Leader Otis used to play cat burglar all the time, but since He has been feeling bad, He has lost interest. I really, really hope that His renewed interest in crime is a sign of improvement in His condition.

I hope this renewed interest in crime is a sign of good things to come for The Leader.

What made it even better was, when I asked Leader Otis if He had successfully stolen anything out of the camera bag He just said, “What camera bag, Brother Oliver? I’ve just been laying here all day. I’m amazed you would think I would try to steal anything.”

The Leader even played innocent after trying to steal from the camera bag.

So we don’t have a definitive answer, but we do have a plan of action. And The Leader’s spirit is still far from broken. I know the Guardians are doing all that they can for Him right now, and Brother Henry, Thomas and I are all keeping our paws crossed that The Leader starts to show some real improvement on this medication. If He stays the same or gets worse, I guess He has to go back to The Bad Place for more tests and something called an “Em-Are-Eye”. I don’t know what that is, but I hope The Leader doesn’t need it. It sounds kind of scary to me.

So Sayeth Brother Oliver

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Cookie’s Cat Fights

My Disciples,

Despite the fact that the Guardians are giving Me doses of nasty tasting medications twice a day, I felt it urgent that to talk to you today about an important topic. You see, Limbo kitty Cookie has been getting into a lot of fights recently. These fights are often short, and may seem like minor squabbles to people who are really committed to the idea of cats being outside, but even minor squabbles can have very dangerous consequences.

Cookie has been getting in a lot of altercations lately.

Some people might say, “Cats will be cats…” and not give these brief skirmishes a second thought. But a close inspection of Cookie’s body shows that she is suffering damage in these fights, and no doubt dishing out some of her own as well.

Cookie’s body is riddled with small scratches and bite wounds from her fights.

So, what’s a few scratches and puncture wounds between cats, right? Well, a few scratches and puncture wounds between cats very well could mean transmission of horrible diseases like the Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) or Feline Leukemia (FeLV). Even cats who have been vaccinated against these diseases are not 100% protected, so the only sure way to prevent your cat from being exposed is to keep your cat isolated from infected animals. Indoor/outdoor Limbo kitties like Cookie are constantly coming into contact with other kitties roaming free in the world. Any or all of these cats may become carriers of illness that is easily spread when they fight with one another.

 

Limbo kitties like Cookie are at great risk of contracting potentially lethal FIV and FeLV. Once infected, they can also pass disease to other kitties.

It’s true that cats will be cats, and that is why cats need responsible Guardians that will protect them and keep them out of harm’s way. If they do not, there is a good chance that cats being cats will lead to cats being infected, and that will lead to those cats prematurely ceasing to be.

So Sayeth Otis

 

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Security Outpost Sunday

People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas. Following Brother Henry’s example of extreme vigilance at the front window yesterday, I have decided to sit my own vigil atop Security Outpost Tabby Tower today. I shall remain ever-watchful, and no suspicious activity shall elude my piercing gaze, for I dub this “Security Outpost Sunday”!

Today I shall perch atop the Tabby Tower and remain ever-watchful.

I can see everything from up here. I shall laugh mockingly at any long, short-legged dogs that attempt to reach me on my safe perch, and I shall sound the alarm so that The Brothers will have ample time to get The Leader to safety before the invasion of the mongrel horde.

I am untouchable on this high perch. I shall mock those who attempt to reach me.

Yes sir. I am a safe and sound sentinel. I… oh, hi Brother Henry. What’s that? Watch out for what? Parapoopers?

What’s that, Brother Henry? Watch out for Parapoopers?

Oh my gosh! I forgot about the oft-rumored, airborne canine attack force! Ummmmm… well… perhaps I need to alter my tactics then…

Yes, this is much better.

What’s that? What happened to Security Outpost Sunday? Oh, well, this cubby is also a security outpost. It is… ummmm… Security Outpost Cozy Kitty Cubby. So it’s totally still Security Outpost Sunday. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some vigilance to maintain.

Thomas Out

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Brother Henry Is Back On The Job

People and fur people who like The Leader Otis,

It’s Thomas. You may remember that I filled in on security duty a couple days ago so Brother Henry could have a day off. I am happy to report that the day off was just what he needed to recharge his cat batteries (catteries?) so he could return to work refreshed and ready to go. Today, he is back on the job, sitting sentinel duty in the front window and keeping a sharp eye out for any suspicious canine activity.

Brother Henry is back on the job!

Not only is he keeping his eyes peeled, he is also listening. Every once in a while he will turn one ear or the other toward the window to better hear any barks, whines, yips or yelps that might indicate that The Long-feared Dog Uprising has commenced.

Brother Henry is also listening for any indication that we are about to be attacked by the mongrel horde.

As if all of this vigilance is not enough, Brother Henry is also putting all would-be canine conspirators on notice. Whenever he sees a dog go past on the sidewalk outside, he yells, “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT DOG! YOU WILL NOT GET PAST THIS 17-POUNDS OF TABBY FURY!”

Brother Henry frequently yells at any dogs within earshot so they know not to try anything.

Now, all of this is classic Brother Henry security tactics, but I noticed he added something else into the mix. It kind of makes me feel good because it makes me believe that he might be starting to take me even more seriously as a security agent. You see, after Brother Henry shouts his “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT DOGS…” message, I have heard him add, “…especially you, wiener dogs…” under his breath.

Brother Henry has started adding the words, “…especially you, wiener dogs…” to his shouted dog commands. It makes me feel like he is taking me seriously!

I’m looking even more forward than before to continuing the help Brother Henry secure The Leader’s Domain. If he really is starting to understand the threat posed by the dastardly wieners, then we shall be even more prepared in the event that the LF(W)DU comes to pass.

Thomas Out

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Brother Oliver’s Blowout

Disciples of The Leader Otis,

Brother Henry here. Brother Oliver will deny this, but I swear it is the truth. While the Guardians are giving Leader Otis His daily medications, they reward Him with freeze-dried chicken treats to make the process more tolerable for Him. You see, He hates taking oral meds, but a chicken chaser makes everything OK. Now, Brother Oliver is not on meds, but he seems to think he should still get all the chicken treats he wants. He doesn’t even ask, he just ducks in and steals them whenever he can. Nevermind that the Guardians have been very generous, and they always give us a few treats when they are medicating The Leader. Nope, Brother Oliver wants them all.

The other day he overdid it though. He stole so many chicken treats that his digestive system couldn’t handle it. This led to a litter box blowout that left Brother Oliver’s butt and legs… shall we say… soiled. It was really stinky too, so I wasn’t at all surprised when I saw that the Guardians wore special gear to clean him up.

Brother Oliver was so stinky and messy that the Guardians wore special gear to clean him up.

Brother Oliver claims that the special gear the Guardian was wearing had nothing to do with him. He says that the Guardian was working on some project in the basement work room that was creating a lot of dust. He says that the real purpose of the mask and gloves was to protect the Guardian from that dust, not from his blowout aftermath. It’s a good story, but I’m not buying it.

Brother Oliver says the protective gear has nothing to do with him. I’m not buying it.

What’s even more ridiculous is that Brother Oliver says his blowout had nothing to do with the excess chicken treats he ate. He says that he thinks somebody snuck some gluten into his food bowl. He heard on TV and the internet that everyone thinks they are allergic to gluten, so he must be too. I asked him if the Guardians should take him to The Bad Place to test him for a gluten allergy and he said, “No, no! I’m sure that’s what it is! I don’t need any test. It’s gluten. Definitely not chicken.” When I asked him what gluten was he simply said, “This conversation is over…”, and then he walked away with the faint smell of poo drifting along behind him.

So Says Brother Henry

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