More Sasquatch Sightings

My Disciples,

You may recall some time back when Brother Oliver and I went on a Sasquatch hunt. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but turned out to be pretty silly. It wasn’t a complete waste though because it resulted in a running joke that Brother Henry is part Bigfoot. Every chance he gets, Brother Oliver tries to sneak up on Brother Henry and get photos of his feet. He then shows the photos to Thomas and Me claiming that he has gathered more irrefutable evidence that Bigfoot exists. He showed Me and Thomas his latest bit of “evidence” this morning, dramatically pronouncing that he had photographed the rare Splayed-toed Sasquatch.

Here is Brother Oliver’s photo of the Splayed-toed Sasquatch.

When I saw the photo, I burst out laughing. Thomas looked at it, said, “You guys are so weird.” and then walked away. I swear I heard him chuckling softly as he disappeared though. After Thomas left, Brother Oliver said, “If you think the evidence of the Splayed-toed Sasquatch is compelling, Leader Otis, you should see what else I have discovered!” Brother Oliver pulled out another picture and, looking smug, said, “Behold the Bare-butted Bigfoot!”

Brother Oliver showed Me this photo and said it was the Bare-butted Bigfoot. I didn’t think it was funny.

After looking at the photo, I said,”You know what Brother Oliver? I think the Bigfoot humor has run its course. It just doesn’t seem funny any more.” Then I walked away in the direction of My food bowl. Thomas passed Me as I did so, heading back toward Brother Oliver. As I arrived at My bowl, I heard Thomas burst out laughing. I’m pretty sure it was because he thought Brother Oliver was so weird.

So Sayeth Otis

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I Thought I Found Bigfoot

My Disciples,

The other day, the Guardians were flipping through the TV channels and they paused for a moment on some strange show. As far as I could tell, it was about a group of intellectually challenged humans who run around in the woods and look for something they call “Sasquatch” or “Bigfoot”. The Guardians didn’t linger on the show for very long, but let Me tell you, My interest was piqued! I immediately went and found Brother Oliver and told him to grab his camera and follow Me. We were going on a Bigfoot hunt!

Brother Oliver was skeptical, but to his surprise we quickly found and photographed what I believe was a real, live Bigfoot! Here is the photo that Brother Oliver captured:

See! Look at the size of that foot! This must be a Bigfoot!

After taking the photo, Brother Oliver said, “Leader Otis… you do know that was Brother Henry, right?” I replied, “No, no, no! Brother Oliver! You didn’t see the show about hunting Bigfoots, or Bigfeet, or whatever you call them. You’re supposed to run around and assume that anything you find, no matter how insignificant or downright stupid, is evidence of a Bigfoot! You’re also supposed to make improbably dense statements about why whatever it is you found couldn’t possibly be explained by something that should be completely obvious to you. For instance, you should have said, “Hmmm… I suppose this photo could be of Brother Henry…’ to which I would reply, ‘No! It can’t be! Brother Henry would never, under any circumstances, sit in the window. The only explanation is that this is a Bigfoot!’”

Brother Oliver thought about this for a moment and then said, “Wow! That is really, really dumb.” At that point, I too had to admit that the whole idea was really dumb. It sounded like fun at first, but in reality, stupid is almost never entertaining. Come to think of it, that’s probably why the Guardians changed the channel so quickly. I’m just embarrassed that the dumb rubbed off on Me a little bit before they did.

So Sayeth Otis

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