I Expect Punctuality!

People and Fur People who are Disciples of Otis,

It’s Thomas.

As you know, I am mostly not OK with being touched by humans. There are exceptions to this though. Once each morning and once each evening, right after he has finished brushing his teeth, I allow the bigger Guardian to pet and brush me in Kitty Valhalla. I don’t ask for much. I simply require that he climb the stairs in a certain way, sit down in the same exact spot every time, and wait for me to approach him. If he does as is required, he will be rewarded with anywhere from three to eight minutes of brushing/petting time. If he deviates at all from the required routine I assume he is probably planning to kill me or something so I get the heck out of there.

Anyway, the Guardian has been very good about complying with my requirements, but the one thing he is bad at is punctuality. And I am very lenient. I usually give him a full five seconds from the time I hear the electric toothbrush turn off to report for duty. This morning though, nearly eleven seconds elapsed after the toothbrush noise ceased before the Guardian appeared at the bottom of the stairs. I made it crystal clear that I was not pleased..

Thomas displeased

I was not pleased with the Guardian’s tardiness, and I made it clear.

Despite the Guardian’s apparent lack of urgency, I decided to let petting/brushing time go forward. He climbed the stairs and sat in the proper spot, and I approached. The brushing felt good even though it was several seconds late.

Thomas getting what he wants

Even though it was late, the brushing felt good.

I was glad I continued with the brushing session despite the Guardian’s lateness. Since it is now summer, it feels really good to have my excess fur removed, and it’s so much easier to have it brushed off than to lick it off, swallow it, and then barf it back up.  During the brushing session though I had an idea. Maybe horking up a hairball or two on his pillow would teach the Guardian a lesson about being on time!

Thomas pondering hairball

Maybe I should barf a hairball or two just to remind the Guardian how important brushing time is!

I cut the brushing session short and tore off down the stairs as if I was being chased by a rabid wiener dog. I headed straight to the top of Super Outpost Tabby Tower where I knew I would not be disturbed. There, I “loaded the cannon” so to speak.

Thomas making ammo

At the top of Super Outpost Tabby Tower, I loaded the cannon.

So now I have a belly full of fur and I am just waiting for the right time to leave my message on the Guardian’s pillow. Perhaps I will do it tonight while he is brushing his teeth. I should have plenty of time.

Thomas Out

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16 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

16 responses to “I Expect Punctuality!

  1. Sandy

    Sir Thomas – you are so smart, punctual, and may I say – devious? After a certain amount of testing of your Guardian, I hope you may one day find that your Guardian has no wish to ever hurt you and you may enjoy grooming at ANY time of the day.

  2. Oh Thomas, I never realized you were such a strict task master! At least the guardian makes sure he has fresh breath before he comes and touches you, that’s a good thing!

  3. Pingback: I Expect Punctuality! | Catgurl40's Blog

  4. Jenn

    ” And I am very lenient. I usually give him a full five seconds from the time I hear the electric toothbrush turn off to report for duty.”

    The leniency our feline friends show us humans is nothing short of heroic! :P

  5. A premeditated hairball? Thomas, it’s a good thing you’re so cute!

  6. CindyD

    Reading this story makes me wonder why I am on the verge of getting a 5th cat. Don’t I do enough brushing…when commanded? Don’t I clean up enough barf? (Just did that) Aren’t I an obedient Guardian? Well, I guess it’s because I’m in love. In love with each and every furry feline that I see…and I need to see another one around my house. I will pick up my new fur-baby in a week…can’t wait!!!! In honor of Otis…

  7. rhiannonpaine

    Thomas, you are a strange combination: adorable, shy, cunning, demanding, and a bit paranoid about wiener dogs. And did I mention adorable? Please, never change.

  8. A properly horked up hairball will teach him, Thomas.

  9. mistletoeandhitch

    Oh Thomas, the Guardians are very lucky that you’re so patient and understanding.

  10. You’ve got to do it, it’s the only way they will learn!!

  11. Thomas, Humans takes’s patience :) its’s a chore !

  12. Zoomgroom! Ours love that one too :)

  13. DJFuzzyK

    Sir T, you’re still keeping all that fluffiness to yourself?! You’re missing out on some awesome petting! You’ll come around one day and see what you’ve been missing :)

  14. Yow Sir Thomas ya crackz me up!!! Ya had to wait a full 11 seckondz?? me had to wait 2 hole dayz fer Mum to bememburr to brush me today!! Me waz like “What Da Kat!!” n she apaulogized n did a dubble brush wif 2 brushez at once….mmmmmmm….heavenlee…..
    Me haz nott yakked a furball in over a yeer ’cause Mum bin so guud. Me letz her off diz time butt if she furgetz to brush me again den me iz gonna show her a furball or two…MOL!
    Yerz Nylablue <3 <3

  15. ;) oh yah Sir Thomas me allwayz yakz da furballz up on da carpet fer speshell effect, MOL..
    Funny fing: Mum brushed me today n said she will brush me tonite….she must suspect e iz gonna give her a giftie, hehehehe…..
    Yerz, Nylablue

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