My Disciples,
When we left off, Junior Agent T had just asked Senior Agent H about the forward observation platform on the Security Outpost Tabby Tower. Ummm… yeah. Anyway, Thomas asked Brother Henry if agents would be vulnerable to attack on the platform and Brother Henry said, “Let’s just see about that, Junior Agent T!” Brother Henry then climbed up onto the platform and told Thomas to try to attack him from below. Thomas got all excited and asked, “Can I pretend I’m a wiener dog!?” Brother Henry replied, “No, Junior Agent T, you may not pretend you are a wiener dog. Wiener dogs are strictly ground attack troops… now try to attack!” Thomas complied and Brother Henry bopped him on the head.
Brother Henry asked Thomas to attack from below. Thomas asked if he could be a wiener dog. Brother Henry said he couldn’t.
After bopping Thomas on the head, Brother Henry said, “See, Junior Agent T! from this position my defenses are nearly impenetrable!” Upon hearing this, Thomas got a little gleam in his eye. Moving quickly, he jumped up onto the box nearby shouting, “BUT WHAT IF THE WIENER DOG DOES THIS!!!” Staying completely cool and calm, Brother Henry swung forward and gently but firmly grabbed Thomas by the scruff with his mouth. Through a mouthful of fur he said, “Thin ah wah do thith!” Thomas was pinned and could advance no further.
Thomas attempted to advance on Brother Henry’s position. He was stopped in his tracks.
I could tell that Thomas was impressed. He said, “OK Agent H, I see your point. Do you mind if I try sitting on the platform now and you pretend that you are the wiener dog?” Brother Henry, obviously annoyed now, said, “Yes, you can try it Junior Agent T, but I’m not going to be a wiener dog!” Brother Henry then jumped down off the platform, and Thomas took his place.
Thomas wanted a turn on the observation post. He and Brother Henry switched spots.
Brother Henry said, “Alright, now I’m going to try to attack you from below, you try to counterattack when you are able, but just stay on top of the platform and let it take the brunt of my blows.” Brother Henry then launched a massive, Paws of Fury style assault from below. Thomas just sat and looked at him, but I also heard him mutter, “That is one mean looking wiener dog…”
Brother Henry launched an all out assault from below. Thomas sat and watched.
After several minutes of flailing from below, Brother Henry made a fast move up onto the nearby box, putting himself face to face with Thomas. He brought one mighty paw down on the platform next to Thomas. Thomas reared back, half-heartedly raising one paw as if he was hesitant to counterattack.
Brother Henry advanced. Thomas raised a paw but seemed hesitant to attack.
Brother Henry said, “Junior Agent T! What are you doing! Why have you not launched a counterattack to stop my advance!?” Thomas replied, “I wasn’t about to put my paw out there where it might get bitten off by a crazy wiener dog!” Exasperated, Brother Henry said, “What is this obsession you have with wiener dogs!?” Receiving no answer from Thomas, Brother Henry let out a sigh and said, “OK, Junior Agent T, that’s enough for now. Over the next day or two I would like you to practice getting up and down this tower as quickly as possible. If the LFDU does come to pass, you will need to be able to climb this thing without even thinking. Now I’m off to patrol The Leader’s Indoor Domain.
As Brother Henry jumped down, Thomas said in a near-whisper, “Are you patrolling for wiener dogs?”, but Brother Henry pretended he didn’t hear it.
So Sayeth Otis
Tomorrow- Thomas’s Tabby Tower Training: Part III
Cult of Otis shirts, posters, mugs, stickers and more!
Oh Wow, i’m going to practice fighting off weiner dogs on my own tabby tower! Except i’m not a Tabby, but we have a couple of tabby’s and our HuMom has a niece named Tabby, so maybe that’s good enough! And I have a real live DOG! I can practice by attacking her! This is gonna be great!!! Brother Henry is a wonderful mentor to Thomas. I am so impressed with his patience. Teaching younger members of the family can be so very exhausting. We are looking forward to watching as Senior Agent H teaches Junior Agent T everything he needs to know to protect you, Leader Otis, in case of the LFDU. Of course, I would still recommend co-opting the enemy. When gotten young, dogs are too dumb to realize they aren’t the superior species. Once indoctrinated they have an unquestioning loyalty that makes them impossible to turn…even if an annoying boy cat jumps them whenever they walk through the room…. but it’s true, they’re not for everycat. Now, I better go stop the boy wonder from attacking the dog and scaring her into wetting the carpet. The poor, stupid, thing will end up UTB until supper time! Maybe Senior Agent H would like to train recruit Hitch? I could have him in a box, ASAP, and be shipping him of to “bootcamp” with Brother Henry right away. Name your price, tuna? salmon? catnip bananas? Of course, then I’d have to explain to the dog where he went. Oh well….
Purrs
Mistletoe & Hitch
RWB
We will definitely let you know if we need you to send us recruit Hitch to train as backup security. Hmmmm… Maybe you could send an intelligence briefing along with him that tells us everything you have learned about the weaknesses in canine defenses!
Hitch would be useful in breaking down the canine defenses. He has done a in-depth study using our resident canine. I, however, might be able to offer a more wide ranging overview. During the time between my capture and the HuMom bailing me out I was stationed at a canine cleaning facility. As you might already know, canines do NOT bath themselves and will, to disguise their scent, roll in any disgusting matter. For example; a Shepard-mix was brought in after rolling in a deposit of decaying fish guts that had been discarded in an improperly closed container. It is important to be aware that in the case of the LFDU the first wave will undoubtedly have disguised their scent.
Please let us know if our prior training in canine behavior can be of any value to the Cult of Otis.
M & H
Oh my gosh! Scent disguises!? These canines are certainly sneaky! Even worse, fish guts sound kind of tasty, so if the dogs roll in those we cats might be tempted to follow the smell to check it out!
I hate to say this, but I saw some pictures of dogs in cat towers receintly.
Noooooooo! What are those dogs up to!?
Hee Hee I knew brother t had good taste and wanted to be one of us! BOL Good man!
He is a good man…cat, but he is also pretty weird. I mean, wiener dogs?
Wiener dogs rule!!
Thomas seems to be a bit obsessed with them. I think they are little terrierists.
O that’s so bad it’s funny!
Oh, what an exciting adventure you’re letting us participate in, Leader Otis! I’m fully enjoying it.
Glad you’re enjoying Thomas’s training, Ivy.
Weiner dogs are the low key leaders of the LFDU! They want you to think it’s all about the big dogs, but those are just the goon squad dogs! Uh… anyway.. Good work Thomas and Henry!
Hmmmmmm… I hadn’t thought of that, Andrea. Maybe Thomas knows some things of which The Brothers and I are not aware…
Yeah…. what’s the deal with weiner dogs? I know they’re mean little suckers, but surely a cat of your renown could take one easy!
I couldn’t, but I like to think Brother Henry could. Then again, those little wieners were bred to take on badgers in their burrows… and I understand badgers are pretty mean themselves. Maybe wiener dogs are stronger than most believe… I doubt they can climb cat trees though!