My Disciples,
Yesterday morning, at the time that has become customary, I made My regularly scheduled demand to the Guardians that I be let into My Outdoor Domain. I had been enjoying My usual post-breakfast nap prior to making My demand, and I had experienced strange dreams that included weird, loud rumbles and water sounds. I was hoping to continue My nap outside in the sunny confines of My Outdoor Domain, but when the Guardians opened the door I discovered the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of everything ever. It was raining! The weird rumbling sounds that I thought I had dreamt were actually the sound of thunder! I could hardly believe My eyes, so I turned and called for Brother Oliver to come and confirm what I thought I was seeing.
I wanted to lay in the sun, but it looked like it was raining! I had to call Brother Oliver to confirm what I was seeing.
Brother Oliver came running saying, “What is it Leader Otis? Has the long-feared Dog Uprising begun!? Shall I go alert Brother Hen…WHAT THE! Is it raining!?” I told Brother Oliver that his last question was exactly the one I called him to answer. He stepped out into My Outdoor Domain, sniffed around a little bit, and then turned around with a puzzled and annoyed look on his face.
Brother Oliver investigated My Outdoor Domain and then turned around with a puzzled and annoyed look on his face.
Brother Oliver said, “Yep, It’s definitely rainy out here. How could this have happened? Do the Guardians not realize that this is completely unacceptable? Aren’t they supposed to take care of us and attend to all of our needs?” I told Brother Oliver that, yes, indeed the Guardians are supposed to attend to all of our needs, and that they should know by now that I demand sun at this time of morning. I also informed him that we might have to take drastic measures to punish them for this enormous dereliction of duty. Brother Oliver then said something that surprised Me. He said, “Right! They must be punished! I’m going downstairs right now and I’m going to poop on the floor in their closet again!” That made Me forget all about the rain outside, because Brother Oliver had just inadvertently revealed the answer to a mystery that had been haunting Me for some time.
So Sayeth Otis
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We have been notified of the same complaint by RC Cat. RC says the rain is making it impossible for her to view the outdoor realm: the neighbors seemed to have left town without placing their cat safely indoors. His large grey huddled form on our porch is difficult to see through.
Poor grey kitty! Perhaps he could enter the NKRP (Neglected Kitty Re-homing Program)? I think a few kitties in our neighborhood might currently be in the program…not that the Guardians or I would know anything about that
.
I think he’s a candidate…older and only lived in apartments all his life until recently…totally clueless and defenseless in the outdoors – and just kicked out most of the time. Am keeping an eye on him.
Thanks for looking out for him Phil!
Poor Otis, no sunny spot to lay in.. But wow, Brother Oliver let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.. Mystery solved!
I know, Andrea! I finally know who the real poopetrator was!